why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
