with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
