So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
