awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
