we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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