Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
