i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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