i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
