just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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