To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
