KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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