you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
