And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
