I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
