Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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