In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
