Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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