I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
