So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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