Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This is my gift to your gina
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
