think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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