I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
