I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
