I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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