That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
