Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
