think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
