i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
