One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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