Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
