Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
