Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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