let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have already put on my inside pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
