Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think my mom watched the whole time
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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