Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
