five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
