Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
