xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
