that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
