I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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