And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't turn off my feet"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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