who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
