Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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