Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
