what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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