you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
