im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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