i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
