HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
