I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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