i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
